The Man, The Guitar, THE LEGEND
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December 29, 2005
OH CHRISTMASTREE OH CHRISTMASS TREE
YOU MAKE MY CAARRPET NEEDLEY
December 28, 2005
Yeah
Last night was emotional.
My dad wants me to stay longer and things went back and forth until I finally cracked and started to cry. I was weeping on my kitchen floor yelling at my dad. I don't know if I can say I hate him, but sometimes I hate the life he lives, I don't know when he is serious or not, I never know what to do around him.
A Couple Things
1. I have to retag all my entries it looks like.
2. I will post a full summar of what's happened with my blog up until now.
3. I don't have the cool numbers for the posts, it's all split up by month and date now.
4. I will re-instate my commenting soon enough, right now you have to use TypeKey.
December 27, 2005
Uh...
I don't even know if this is going to work.
December 11, 2005
I WAS HACKED (sort of)
So because I never deleted the default user from MT my index was changed for a short time. Nothing to see here, move along.
:D
I'm smrat.
December 7, 2005
Go Go Parents
So my dad went to make a fake tree.
2 hours later this is what he's got. He's asleep on the couch now.
December 4, 2005
Dragonheart
Last night Dragonheart was playing on the TVs at work.
I like Dragonheart n..n; Lots of... talking dragon in it.
Yeah, that's about it.
I like dragons.
December 2, 2005
My Savings
Because Eevee did it.
Why haven't you moved?
Well this is what has happened. My parents said "you're not moving" and I agreed.
Then I got to talking and realized I was tired of doing what THEY say for MY benifit when I feel it wasn't helping. So I wrote this up and gave it to my mom.
Note: This is an outline and not a definite plan of action. All dates (in reason) are subject to change, as well as any actions. I am writing this up to show that I am not going in there with just blind faith, I want to do this right. Please help me with any part that looks like it may need it.)
Overlying Plan:
1. Move to Washington
2. Secure Apartment
(2a. Obtain Residency)
3. Work and Accumulate Funds
4. Attend School
First and foremost this plan is to ensure #1 happens as top priority.
Am I ready to move?
* Financially?
-Financially I would say I am as ready as I am going to get (in reasonable terms). I could always save up more and more money the longer I stay here, but at some point it becomes nothing more than a time sink to sit and get more money for a move I will keep putting off because I want more money.
* Emotionally?
-Leaving my family is going to be one of the hardest things to do, but at the same time it will be one of the best things (in my opinion) for me to do. I am not running away from my problems. I am just giving myself more space and hopefully will able to just experience life. The good and the bad.
* Will my family let me go?
-I really don't know. This is what scares me the most. I have read the letter my mom wrote me telling me not to "run away". I never have planned to sneak out while they are at work, but at the same time if they don't want to help me go, I will be packing alone and saying a much briefer and painful goodbye then I want to.
* What is literally STOPPING me?
-My compassion and caring for my parents and brother. I don't want to leave because I feel as if I must carry their burden. I must stay here as a straight and narrow son. The moment I leave all hell will break down and they will continue their cycle.
* So why am I leaving?
-I can only support them for so long before I need to support my own life. My dad was telling me drug stories tonight that had NO POINT to them at all. None. Zero. He just wanted to reminisce about the "good time" (or not so good) with his buddies. I can't stand this kind of talk. I don't put up with it around my friends, co-workers, anyone. I don't want to be around this environment.
* Am I leaving just for Bryan?
-A lot of it is because of Bryan, yes. He has also offered to move down here a long time ago. It was then I said I wanted to move up there. I know if I leave down the street or even down to another county I would be away from my family enough. I wish to move to Washington because it's somewhere new. I'd like to move a bit before I become so tied down moving is not worth it.
Breakdown of the plan.
1. Move to Washington
* I will transfer all my credits to one college, or discuss which can be transferred to the college I plan to attend while in Washington (expanded later).
* I will turn in my notice to work, letting them know I will be leaving by ____.
-I call up the district manager and let him know when I will be in Washington. He will then set up an interview and transfer for a Black Angus up North near the area we wish to move.
* I will secure all records I need.
-Medical and dental
-Schooling / Transcripts
-Transfer insurance for Washington state.
-Voter registration, drivers license info.
* Bryan will get a one way flight down here to visit.
-Around a week or so.
-I give final goodbyes to my friends and family (preferably with Bryan with me, so they can all meet him).
* We will drive back up to Washington
-Get chains for car, shown how to use them.
-Map and directions.
-Money for gas.
-No furniture except TV and computer, etc etc.
* Arrive at Bryan's parents' house.
-I will be staying here until an apartment is secured.
(ADDRESS)
(PHONE NUMBER)
(PARENTS' NAMES)
2. Secure Apartment
* Starting the next day Bryan and I look for an apartment.
-Will be looking in Bothell area and outlying areas.
(Bothell is kind of like Fremont to San Francisco)
-Looking for price range between $600 and $1,000 a month.
-Will be writing up a contract stating ALL costs are split 50/50 unless another contract states otherwise.
(Will be mailing a copy of this to my paranoid parents for safe keeping)
-We will be letting the landlord know we will be having a third roommate stay with us.
(His name is Alex Munroe, right now he lives in New York, moved out of his parent's house after they refused to pay for college for him [they make more than enough for it, they have 2 ranches with horses and everything]. He is looking for someplace to finally settle down just like we are, and he is a good friend. I have met with him in Philadelphia with Bryan. He will be signing a contract just as we will, all costs split 33/33/33)
[I realize thats only 99. But whaddya gunna do?]
* The lease will have myself and Bryan's names on it.
-Bryan's parents co-signing.
* We will move from parent's house.
-Because I will be there for such a short time this shouldn't be much of a trek at all.
-After everything is moved we will go to Ikea and start buying furniture, just the basics at first.
(Because of the amount of money I have saved up I will be buying the bulk of furniture. It is understood and will have another contract signed that I will be paid back for half or two-thirds of the furniture I buy, depending on what I buy and who uses it.)
* Start to get bills and everything worked out.
-Seeing first hand how much we have to play with every month.
* We will not sign a lease that is longer than 6 months.
-I do not wish to be tied to one place for longer than half a year.
-This gives me plenty of time to feel out things on my own, in case Bryan and I don't work well after the "Honeymoon Period" or other unforeseen things happen.
2a. Obtaining Residency
* Note: I will be going to Edmonds Community College, it is near where we will live.
-I will be fishing out my AA there (general education degree)
* Before I start going back to school I need residency.
-This is to cut costs of classes in half, out of state pay more than twice as much.
-If I am not going to be paying for my schooling and my parents do not care how much it costs, this entire section is to be skipped, I will be attending school the next starting quarter.
-Fee breakdown can be found at: http://tuition.edcc.edu/
-Example of costs: 1 class is about 5 credits. For a resident this is $359.00. For a non resident this is $1,217.50. This means to take three classes (respectable amount, maybe even four) this will cost from $2,551.00 to $3,093.20 for one quarter without books or any other supplies.
* How to get residency: http://tuition.edcc.edu/_residency.php
"For tuition purposes, a resident student:
* has lived in Washington state for other than educational purposes for one year and is financially independent
* is a financially dependent student and has one or both parents or legal guardian who have lived in Washington state for at least one year"
-I will be in Washington for a year working and getting more funds and this is when I will be working towards my residency.
3. Work to Accumulate Funds
* I will be working at a Black Angus as a waiter while I wait for my residency.
* Unless I get residency somehow earlier than one year I will probably pick up a second job.
-This is so I am not sitting around all day like I do at home, making just enough for rent.
-I make a good amount of money, and will have plenty for rent and bills, but if I'm just sitting around I might as well find someway to be productive.
* I do not plan to move around much in this time if at all.
4. Attend School
* Once residency is declared I will apply.
-If I move in Jan. like I wish and plan then I will just miss the winter quarter, for I will not be a resident in time for their application deadline.
-I will be applying for their Fall semester, which runs from Sept 19 to Dec 9.
* I will continue my schooling until I get my AA
-After this I cannot plan, I do not know where life will take me scholastically.
-Once I get my AA I can transfer that ANYWHERE, every college takes an AA/AS/AN. It is my first step into my career path (once decided).
* Bryan will be attending school.
-Once we move he will go back to school that following semester.
-He has only a few classes left, so it will be maybe one semester.
* Alex wishes to go back to school, but will need to settle residency like myself first.
-He is farther than any of us, I think he is working for his bachelor's degree in computer science or something.
-Alex is a little younger than me (skipped ahead and whatnot).
5. Personal Thoughts.
I want to move. I am tired of planning things and getting ready to jump only to back down. I know my parents love me and only wish to see me excel in life. I'm not sure how much they realize how sturdy a footing they have given me. I feel confident in myself and my decisions in life, I know that I have their support and backing 110%. I know it seems like I may be running from problems and issues I should deal with but this is not the case. Honestly these problems and issues are not my problems; they are the family's. I know I am part of this family and never want to become a "holiday child", but I feel now is the time I have to go, and I have this amazing opportunity.
I know my parent's wish for my education to continue, and this is a very loud and very reasonable request. However right now in my life this is not MY number one priority. I know it isn't really any teenager's first priority, but I hope I can win some respect for the fact my number one priority is getting farther in life and getting much desired space to grow as a person (as opposed to wanting to move out so I can party all night, etc.).
I know Bryan's parents will be writing my parents a letter soon letting my own parents know their feelings and support. I want them to be assured that Jim and Roberta are two of the most supportive parents I have seen (next to my own). They really care for me and Bryan's safety and well being.
Bryan's mom has a master's degree in education and works in the field to this day. She is upset about Bryan dropping out but she also has stepped back and let him make his own decisions. By no means is she letting him (or me) just go through uneducated, but she isn't going to force it upon her sons. Both his parent's have graduated from college and know the importance of a good education. I come however from a family who hasn't gone through the traditional college, and know the pain of not having an education. I believe this will give me a very unique kind of advice from both sides that will support me.
I wouldn't be moving if I wasn't sure how much support both families would give. I know if Bryan was moving down here my parent's would be giving as much support as his would give, that's just how they are.
I do not want this move to be seen as a irrational teenage rebellion against "The Man", my family, or anything of that sort; quite the opposite. I want this move to be seen as my parents giving me the space to do what I feel I need to do, all the while stepping back ready to catch me if I fail.
I am planning to move early next year and I just ask for their support.
My mom then left a note on my monitor the day after.
"Gordon-
Thank you -
I love you -
We'll talk later about dates - but I don't want to keep you from your life."
This is a good sign.